Help your child to make positive self-statements. What we tell ourselves; or self-talk is very important in everything we do. Psychologists have found that depression and anxiety stem from negative self-talk. What we think determines how we feel and how we feel determines how we behave. Therefore, it is important to teach children to be positive about how they "talk to themselves." Some examples of useful self-talk are: "I can solve this problem, if I just keep trying." "It's okay if our team didn’t win today, as long as we all tried our best. You can't win them all." "It makes me feel good to help others even if no one notices or thanks me." Your child can become an expert at this by listening to relaxation tapes or CDs These tapes combine relaxation techniques along with positive self-statements and mental pictures to help kids and teens develop their self-esteem.
Avoid critical statements or statements meant to shame a child. Sometimes it is necessary to critique a child's actions, and it is appropriate that parents do so. When, however the critique is directed to the child as a person it can easily evolve into ridicule or shame. It is important to learn to use "I statements" rather than "You statements" when giving criticism. For instance say, "I would like you to keep your clothes in the proper place in your closet or drawers not lying all over your room;" rather than saying "Why are you such a lazy slob? Can't you take care of anything?"
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