Words /Acts Of Encouragement

Children need to feel loved and appreciated. Most parents find that it is easier to provide negative feedback rather than positive feedback.

*Recent research shows that ADHD children may need more praise than the average child. Unfortunately, because of their behaviour they often receive less.

Yes

Good

Fine

Very good

Very fine

Excellent

Marvellous

At-a-boy

Right

That’s right

Correct

Wonderful

I like the way you do that

I’m pleased with (proud of) you

That’s good

Wow

Oh boy

Very nice

Good work

Great going

Good for you

That’s the way

Much better

O.K.

You’re doing better

That’s perfect

Good idea

What a cleaver idea

That’s it

Good job

Great job controlling yourself

I like the way you ______

I noticed that you ____

Keep it up

I had fun ______ with you

You are improving at ______ more and more

You showed a lot of responsibility when you ______

Way to go

I appreciate the way you ______

You are great at that

You're the best

Good remembering

That’s beautiful

I like your______

I like the way you ______ with out having to be asked (reminded)

I’m sure glad you are my son/daughter

Now you’ve got it

I love you

You can SHOW them how you feel as well as tell them.

Smile

Nod

Part on shoulder, head, knee

Wink

Signal or gesture to signify approval

High five

Touch cheek

Tickle

Laugh (with, not at)

Pat on the back

Hug

Building Your Child's Self-Esteem- Part 2

Help your child to make positive self-statements. What we tell ourselves; or self-talk is very important in everything we do. Psychologists have found that depression and anxiety stem from negative self-talk. What we think determines how we feel and how we feel determines how we behave. Therefore, it is important to teach children to be positive about how they "talk to themselves." Some examples of useful self-talk are: "I can solve this problem, if I just keep trying." "It's okay if our team didn’t win today, as long as we all tried our best. You can't win them all." "It makes me feel good to help others even if no one notices or thanks me." Your child can become an expert at this by listening to relaxation tapes or CDs These tapes combine relaxation techniques along with positive self-statements and mental pictures to help kids and teens develop their self-esteem.

Avoid critical statements or statements meant to shame a child. Sometimes it is necessary to critique a child's actions, and it is appropriate that parents do so. When, however the critique is directed to the child as a person it can easily evolve into ridicule or shame. It is important to learn to use "I statements" rather than "You statements" when giving criticism. For instance say, "I would like you to keep your clothes in the proper place in your closet or drawers not lying all over your room;" rather than saying "Why are you such a lazy slob? Can't you take care of anything?"