Words /Acts Of Encouragement

Children need to feel loved and appreciated. Most parents find that it is easier to provide negative feedback rather than positive feedback.

*Recent research shows that ADHD children may need more praise than the average child. Unfortunately, because of their behaviour they often receive less.

Yes

Good

Fine

Very good

Very fine

Excellent

Marvellous

At-a-boy

Right

That’s right

Correct

Wonderful

I like the way you do that

I’m pleased with (proud of) you

That’s good

Wow

Oh boy

Very nice

Good work

Great going

Good for you

That’s the way

Much better

O.K.

You’re doing better

That’s perfect

Good idea

What a cleaver idea

That’s it

Good job

Great job controlling yourself

I like the way you ______

I noticed that you ____

Keep it up

I had fun ______ with you

You are improving at ______ more and more

You showed a lot of responsibility when you ______

Way to go

I appreciate the way you ______

You are great at that

You're the best

Good remembering

That’s beautiful

I like your______

I like the way you ______ with out having to be asked (reminded)

I’m sure glad you are my son/daughter

Now you’ve got it

I love you

You can SHOW them how you feel as well as tell them.

Smile

Nod

Part on shoulder, head, knee

Wink

Signal or gesture to signify approval

High five

Touch cheek

Tickle

Laugh (with, not at)

Pat on the back

Hug

Building Your Child's Self-Esteem- Part 4

A positive approach to providing structure for your child goes along way.

All kids and teens need to accept responsibility for their behaviour. They should learn self-discipline. To help children learn self-discipline, the parent needs to adopt the role of coach/teacher rather than that of disciplinarian and punisher. Familiarize yourself with the "Three Fs" of positive parenting: Firm, Fair and Friendly.

…and!!

The Last 9 ‘Add-on’ steps you can take to help your child develop a positive self-image:

1. Teach children to change their demands to preferences. Point out to children that there is no reason they must get everything they want and that they need not feel angry either. Encourage them to work against anger by setting a good example and by reinforcing them when they display appropriate irritation rather than anger
2. Encourage your children to ask for what they want assertively; pointing out that there is no guarantee that they will get it. Reinforce them for asking and avoid anticipating their desires.
3. Let children know they create and are responsible for any feeling they experience. Likewise, they are not responsible for others' feelings. Avoid blaming children for how you feel.
4. Encourage your children to develop hobbies and interests which give them pleasure and which they can pursue independently.
5. Let children settle their own disputes between siblings and friends alike.
6. Help your children develop "tease tolerance" by pointing out that some teasing can't hurt. Help children learn to cope with teasing by ignoring it while using positive self-talk such as "names can never hurt me," "teases have no power over me," and "if I can resist this tease, then I'm building emotional muscle. Help children learn to focus on their strengths by pointing out to them all the things they can do.
7. Encourage your children to behave toward themselves the way they'd like their friends to behave toward them.
8. Help your children think in terms of alternative options and possibilities rather than depending upon one option for satisfaction. A child who has only one friend and loses that friend is friendless. However, a child who has many friends and loses one, still has many. This same principle holds true in many different areas. Whenever you think there is only one thing which can satisfy you, you limit your potential for being satisfied! The more you help your children realize that there are many options in every situation, the more you increase their potential for satisfaction.
9. Laugh with your children and encourage them to laugh at themselves. People who take themselves very seriously are undoubtedly decreasing their enjoyment in life. A good sense of humour and the ability to make light of life are important ingredients for increasing one's overall enjoyment.